Asking"I need someone to come out to the garden tonight and affirm how much progress I have made pulling weeds. I'm afraid I won't keep working on it, if someone doesn't tell me how much better it looks."
Madeline, my daughter, said, "Oh, I can definitely do that!" "I could never ask for affirmation," my husband says. "Why?" "Because it would be so fake it someone affirms me just because I asked. It needs to be real and authentic. They need to really mean it. How can I believe them if I tell someone to affirm me?" I tried to explain, "You should try it. Even if they fake it, I still feel better when someone makes a big deal out of something I have worked hard at." He continued, "I've tried asking before and the people who's opinion that really matter to me don't say much." "Are you referring to me?" "Well you are the one who brought up the subject!" "I try to affirm you for your sermons, but I don't say something every week. Would you like me to say something every week?" "No, because then you sound like every other person who tells me 'Great sermon' as they walk out the door." This continues on for a while longer. HIs agitation growing. I have definitely given him something to think about. I hope he will try it.
1 Comment
Kathleen Sokolowski
3/27/2020 03:23:06 pm
I am an affirmation person too. I was a kid who needed gold stars and as an adult, I still look for that approval. I am trying to wean myself off of it because it hurts so much when it doesn't come. Yet the work I've done remains- whether a person sees it or not. Maybe you can train your eyes to notice how lovely your garden looks without the weeds. :)
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